this life without you

I made many mistakes, I broke all my promises and Im so guilty for these things that hurt you , all my grief  dwells inside me,  today I still found you there, on the wind, on a conversation, I found you on these old lyrics;  how deep its my sorrow, no one knows becase i´m not crying, I keep going, and every minute on my dark way I wish let  you behind..  but I can´t, I want throw up all these days and never  seen your eyes on my dreams,  my sky, my north, my polar shine, all memories come and go like the light on thru the branches of the  trees . That images fade so far away, and just let me with a knot on my throat, all my promises come over me and hit me with that heavy pain, and today im  tired, so tired, blue and without you . I must confess  I been lost, and on this lost life. with those who live lost   I found someone new. someone how has no fault, and with tears on her eyes, make bleed my mask, shes doing all what she can, but she cant make me fall in love, that thing its only yours, I can answer that question, why I cant love her?, well this is the question, you with that sunrise and all you hair whirred by the wind, and all your defects, thousands of them  and your  hundred voice inflexions, you just, youre the thing I ve most wanted in whole world, I never loved any thing or any one most than you, even my child, I loved you as the first time, as my breath at birth moment, as the water, so i have no heart, no more soul to can love, is like have a surgery, like been deaf and want hear, like been blind and want stare your toes playing around and your step on the sand.

You make me hate my life, but I cant never love again I cant get over you, because It supouse you cant get over to the love or your life, im try so hard without successful, and I wonder why I cannot love her even when I try?, because of you!, because I know youre  alive in some place, going around and hanging out with my only heart, with all that love who went fade away on your waving goodbye unkindly way. All my songs disapear i wrote all, now im ready for new ones, but i forgetting you but no the time, as you I´ve loses, so i wanna die for finally have peace at all.